Diary of a Punter: Four Times a Lady

My name is @Drtwerp. Having made consistent profit with all three of my previous diaries and with only the League Cup going on in England this week I was forced to go to Europe for more meat. I did so. Profit. Four times a lady.

I completely blanked the League Cup. I avoided backing Blackpool at home instead opting to buy goals. SWEET. Making sure no-one was looking I had a right rummage around in the skip over the road and found two games I liked the look of: Seville left it late but won 2-0. LIKE. And buying goals in the big game in Germany was the best thing I ever did. CHOCOLATE . A 3-3 draw and further proof that the Bundesliga is mental. The league cup is too and with just the Blackpool Huddersfield game appealing to me from the fixtures in England I only placed bets on three games in the week. Less is more and a 60% profit is always sweet like chocolate boy.

Here is how my bets in the week got on:

Blackpool v Huddersfield – 0.5pts: INCE SCORE FIRST – 13/2 -0.50, 2pts: OVER 2.5 GOALS – 8/11 +3.45, 0.5pts: OVER 3.5 GOALS – 9/5 +1.40

Deportivo v Seville – 1.2pts: SEVILLE TO WIN (DRAW NO BET) – 5/6 +2.20, 0.8pts: UNDER 2.5 GOALS – 10/11 +1.52

Frankfurt v Borussia Dortmund – 0.5pts: FRANKFURT TO WIN – 31/10 -0.5, 2pts: OVER 2.5 GOALS – 7/10 +3.40

Stake 7.50, Returns 11.97, Midweek Profit/loss:  +4.47 (+60%)

This being my fifth diary entry I am looking to make a fifth consecutive profit. Starting with a stake of 11.25 points, over two weekends and two rounds of midweek fixtures I have made a nice 149% profit.

Here are my bets for this weekend:

Saturday 29^th Sept – Sunderland v Wigan

I texted my upstairs neighbour the other night from my new number. He texted back “who is this” so I went for “Kate”. The silly sod then went nuts out and went “Kate from Maidstone?”… and I went to  town on him. After some proper creepy shit from him I asked him if he was horny. His reply? “always”. What an answer! Another ALWAYS in life is getting an organized and tough-to-beat box of chocolates off Martin O Neill. Although Sunderland drew their last three games they let in late equalizers against Liverpool and West Ham and will target 3 points here. I fancy they will get them too. A fast start isn’t out of the question here and this could be round Barrymore’s by half-time. Sunderland have led at HT in 3 out of their 4 premiership games so far this season and Wigan haven’t electrocuted anybody once. Wigan scored 4 goals in the week at West Ham and won this fixture 1-2 last season. However, that was a Steve Bruce Sunderland side and I expect the Martin O Neill version to win here. Always.

1.5pts: SUNDERLAND TO WIN – Evens with Bet365

0.5pts: SUNDERLAND HT/FT – 5/2 with 188bet

Fulham v Man City

That MJ statue outside the Fulham ground is something special. If it came to life and scored against Man City it would not surprise me. It has scored all eight of Fulham’s goals at Craven Cottage so far this season and hasn’t conceded any. Although I am wary as they will do sooner or later, let’s not forget Man City are yet to keep a clean sheet yet this season and I’m not sure if they will here. Fulham look good since they got Berbatov moonwalking about and no motherf****r on Saturday can stop him getting his walk on if he wants to. Fulham games are averaging 3.8 goals per game so far this season and City games 3.4. Five out of Fulham’s last six have seen over 2.5 goals and so have three of City’s four away games (5-4-1-5).

2.5pts: OVER 2.5 GOALS – 5/6 with BlueSq

1pt: OVER 3.5 GOALS – 21/10 with Bodog

Brighton v Birmingham

“We can see you holding hands” is still the most powerful song in football and I love it. Birmingham go to Brighton for a dirty weekend against a side with a real tight arse too. Brighton have only conceded 3 in 6. Birmingham got chained up and whipped 5-0 at home by Boy George last Saturday and have let in ten in their last four away games. Having been beaten so badly at home you the danger is Birmingham get their shit together at the back but Brighton are top of the league, have won five on the bounce and look a good bet to me.

3pts: BRIGHTON TO WIN – 5/6 with Ladbrokes

1pt: BRIGHTON TO WIN (-1) – 5/2 with Stan James

0.5pts: BRIGHTON TO WIN (-2) – 11/2 with Coral

0.25pts: BRIGHTON TO WIN 4-0 – 45/1 with 188bet

Middlesbrough v Leicester

Blatant homers Middlesbrough have won all four of their home games and by Dr’s Recommendations should beat a Leicester side who have lost all three away. Simple logic added to the fact that I watched Boro go to Blackburn last week and dominate them for 90 minutes. At home (where both sides are relying on their form for points so far) I think they can get their fourth win in five and give Leicester their fourth straight away loss.

1.5pts: MIDDLESBROUGH TO WIN – 17/10 with Sky Bet

Burnley v Millwall

No-one likes them, they don’t care. By the looks of it when they go away they don’t care either. Having only beaten Peterborough away from home, Millwall lost their last two (3-2 and 4-1), all three of these games with +2.5 goals in them and so have Burnley’s last five. Burnley gave Peterborough a 5-2 seeing-off last home game but Millwall don’t care. Neither of these can keep a clean sheet and both sides games are averaging plenty. Two carefree bets for me

1.1pts: BOTH TEAMS TO SCORE – 8/11 with BlueSq

0.8pts: OVER 2.5 GOALS – 5/6 with Stan James

Best of luck everybody betting on this weekend’s football.

Please follow me on twitter @drtwerp

I MISS HER

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